Authors: rikachi & mazauric
Genre: Drama, romance
Summary: What if Jin never left for L.A? What if KAT-TUN didn't debut in 2006? What if Akakame wasn't just a gimmick but a reality? What if their fate was in someone else's hands?
Disclaimer: Not our boys. Unfortunately.
Aurora: Chapter NineKazuya bowed down as the director introduced him to the crew and cast as Kamenashi Kazuya, cast for the role of Odagiri Ryu. He heard the others clapping and lifted his head to look at his co-stars standing on set with him. The first shoot of the day was one of the two where he’d be with the others for episode one. He’d be more or less without the others for most of the episode but that would change soon.
He smiled at Jin as the director introduced him as well and clapped for him. First day on set and this was very different to what Kazuya had already experienced in a drama. Because this time he was one of the leads and the prospect was both daunting and exciting to the eighteen year old.
Jin glanced at Kazuya and bowed down. First day here and his first major role in a major drama. This would be a turning point to his career and on top of all he got to do it with Kazuya. He just hoped being on a tight schedule together wouldn’t make them fight more than usual. He had a script in his hand, whereas Kazuya had stayed up all night learning his lines, Jin had hit the sack and decided to worry about it tomorrow. He regretted it now.
They went through introducing the other co-stars and as they did, Kazuya’s idol-mode was on. He wouldn’t be needed much for other scenes regarding the classroom but the scenes where he would be needed, he’d prepared himself for it. On top of it all was the fact that KAT-TUN had another concert coming up and he was well aware that they were going to get busier after that too. He’d also landed the role in Nobuta, set to begin filming not long after Gokusen. Kazuya was looking at a very busy year.
Still he smiled and showed absolutely no sign of how tired he really was as they finally started setting up for the scene. It was in a park, where the teacher, Kumiko Yamaguchi, would meet Odagiri, who would give her money back and tell her never to contact him again. Kazuya ran a hand through his hair, strangely enough Ryu’s look was a little different from how Kazuya imagined it would be. But he wasn’t complaining, the straight locks of light brown hair suited him well enough. He picked at his torn jeans and turned to look at the other boys, they seemed friendly enough.
Jin was feverishly reading over his script. He needed to learn these lines. And there were a lot of them. And not only lines, instructions on where he needed to be, his expressions, his movements, all of it. He fidgeted nervously, he couldn’t really turn to Kazuya for support in front of everyone. Instead he tried to smile at his co-actors and act as professional as possible. The truth was they were both still novices and had no idea what this would actually be like, filming an entire drama.
Nakama Yukie was brought in to the centre of the park and Kazuya was moved to where he was supposed to be. His mind was completely on the job but when he looked at Jin, he knew the other was still trying to learn his lines. He made a note to comfort the other about it later as he got into acting mode and began the scene.
The truth was that Kazuya had only been in one major drama before this as one of the many secondary characters. So he wasn’t completely foreign to how this worked. Still he needed at least two or three takes before he got the scene perfect. The staff seemed to like that Odagiri Ryu strutted away from Kumiko more like a model than a delinquent student. It gave him character.
When his scene was done, he was allowed off set. Kazuya rubbed at his eyes and took a drink of his water, hoping it would help in keeping him awake. He looked around for the manager and asked him if he was going to be needed in the next hour or so and when he was told that he wasn’t, Kazuya glanced at Jin for a moment and ducked towards the van. He climbed in the back, closed the door behind himself and curled up under his jacket for a nap. It wouldn’t be a long shoot, they’d be done soon enough but it was going to be a long day. He still had rehearsals for Kaizokuban after this and no matter what, Kazuya would not let anyone but Jin see how tired he was.
Jin was still needed. He looked after Kazuya, he could see the boy was tired but he couldn’t really do anything about it. He was struggling with his lines and he could see the director getting a little frustrated with him. It definitely wasn’t a good start.
The day went on and when they were finally off the set they were already late for their concert rehearsal. There was a tense silence between them as Jin started his car.
Rubbing at his eyes tiredly, Kazuya yawned in the passengers seat and glanced at the time. They were late but when he looked at Jin, he could tell the first day of shooting hadn’t been the best for him.
They pulled away from the location area and when Kazuya was sure they were safe, he reached over and rubbed Jin’s arm “It’s only day one,” he told the other “Besides, I bet we didn’t miss much in rehearsals. Just Junno practicing his juggling scene or something.”
Jin grunted something as a response and glued his gaze to the road. He was irritated he’d even had to make the choice between getting sleep and learning his lines. And it certainly wouldn’t get any easier from here. They would just get busier and busier and tomorrow would be another early start for them both.
Kazuya watched the other worriedly before he remembered something. He sat up a little “Hey um...you remember how I told you I was supposed to write the insert song for Gokusen? Johnny sent it in awhile ago and they just got back to him today.”
Kazuya had been in charge of the lyrics and whilst it had been difficult to write - as he’d never really had to write a song before - he was actually quite satisfied with how it had turned out.
“It was accepted,” Kazuya smiled at Jin “They’re going to use my song.”
Jin tried to smile sincerely but he was just too tired and stressed to pull it off.
“That’s great,” he replied. He had heard the demo Kazuya had sent in and it had sounded pretty good, he wasn’t surprised it had gotten accepted.
Kazuya watched the other, he was trying to cheer him up and whilst he was aware there was a very low chance of him succeeding, he did think that of everyone, he had the most chance in pulling it off.
“You do know what that song is about, don’t you?” he asked.
“Hm?” Jin asked absent-mindedly. He hadn’t paid that much attention to the lyrics. He felt a pending headache and wondered how he would ever get through this day.
“What is it about?” he asked, more out of obligation than actual interest.
Kazuya felt it too, he knew the other was frustrated with himself and probably tired too but still, Kazuya had put a lot of effort into the song itself and the message was clear for Gokusen however the undertone was solely for Jin.
If he paid attention.
They arrived at NHK and Kazuya reached for the back to grab his bag. He kicked the door open and looked at Jin “It’s about you,” he told the boy in a slightly irritated tone, before hopping out and stomping towards the building ahead of Jin. It didn’t help that Kazuya was tired too but he was still determined not to show that to his bandmates. After all, if he couldn’t handle a concert and drama at the same time, he couldn’t call himself an idol like his seniors.
Jin remained sitting in the car for a while, mulling over what Kazuya had just told him before getting up and walking to the elevator. He took Kazuya’s hand and squeezed.
“That’s nice of you,” he murmured and attempted a tired smile. In the midst of all this, Kazuya had dedicated a song to him.
Despite being somewhat annoyed Jin hadn’t paid enough attention to pick up on the silent dedication beforehand, Kazuya couldn’t remain annoyed with the other long. He looked around the elevator but they were alone and there were no cameras. He leaned up and pressed a small kiss to Jin’s lips “Do you need me to help you with your lines?” he offered “We can work out a schedule of sorts.”
“I’ll be fine. A little more studying and a little less sleeping tonight,” Jin shrugged. He pressed Kazuya lightly against the wall of the elevator and stole one last kiss before he heard the ding telling them they had arrived in their floor.
“Hopefully they’re not too mad at us.”
“In they come, the stars of Gokusen,” Tatsuya drawled as Kazuya and Jin finally came to the rehearsal room. The other members were spread out, each sorting out their own thing as they couldn’t rehearse much without them. They’d gone through their solos but the majority of the show needed all of them to sort out. After all, they were in charge of it.
“Finally,” Taguchi beamed as he came up to them “There’s only so much juggling I can practice.”
“Sorry we ran late on shooting,” Kazuya put his bag aside and left Jin’s side to join the others. He patted Koki’s back and beamed brightly - as if he wasn’t dying of tiredness inside - “So, let’s start from the top!” he suggested energetically.
Tatsuya rose an eyebrow at the youngest but shrugged. He’d spent the majority of their practice time on his phone and he avoided Koki’s eyes. Only Koki knew who was actually messaging him.
Koki was looking grumpy as ever but he had bravely refrained from making a comment to Tatsuya about texting Ryo. Instead, he had been practicing some comedy skits with Nakamaru, it seemed that they were slowly becoming an unit. A rapper and a beatboxer. Plus they shared a similar sense of humor.
Jin slipped in as unnoticeably as possible and took out his script for the concert. From one script to another. The small moment with Kazuya had improved his mood only a little and he could see the other guys were a bit annoyed. After all, they hadn’t been granted major roles in dramas yet.
They had a lot to get through. With the concert looming ever closer, they had to sort out their own costumes, setlist, they were in charge of nearly everything. Which was great in terms of artistic freedom but horrible for Kazuya and Jin, who were on a tight enough schedule as it was. Still, even knowing they were going to be busy, Kazuya couldn’t help but get excited at the thought of a pirate-themed concert. He wasn’t the only one either, they all were.
KAT-TUN hadn’t debuted yet but damn they were popular.
“Let’s get Yabu Kota to make an appearance,” Kazuya suggested after a gruelling set of dances. They were all sprawled out on the floor, lying around and resting when Kazuya squirmed over to Nakamaru and used his outstretched arm as a pillow “Ooh, and Kis-my-ft! I miss Fujigaya.”
Tatsuya’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he rolled onto his side to check the message discreetly as Taguchi looked up “Are you guys going to be alright? Filming a drama and doing a concert at the same time?”
“We’ll be fine,” Kazuya waved it off and squirmed a little closer to Nakamaru so he could use his arm properly as a pillow “Jin’s got an iron will, right Jin?”
“Sure, if only my brain followed my will,” Jin muttered, his nose almost pressed to the concert plan, trying to memorize what exactly they had coming up.
“Well you two had better sort it out, I’m not going to screw this up because of you two,” Koki remarked. To him, it was so unfair Johnny kept giving the two of them so many opportunities when the rest just had to hang on and hope they wouldn’t fall if Jin and Kazuya let go.
“You’ll be fine,” Kazuya assured Koki “We’ll all be fine. Did you see us in the mirror during that practice? We killed those songs!”
Maybe normally Koki’s attitude might have gotten to him but Kazuya was getting used to it. That and he was too happy about the upcoming concert to really pay much attention to Koki or anyone else for that matter.
Mustering up the last of his energy, Kazuya got up and bounced on his feet “Right! Let’s go, round two!”
“Where is that energy coming from?” Tatsuya asked helplessly “Can’t we have ten more minutes? I can’t feel my feet.”
“You shouldn’t be able to feel your fingers after all that texting you’re doing, that phone is practically molded to your hand,” Junno teased as Kazuya helped him up onto his feet by grabbing his hand. Junno got up and laughed “You should just marry your boyfriend already.”
Tatsuya put his phone down and winced when most of them weren’t looking.
Unknown to Tatsuya, Jin and Kazuya also knew what was going on but they knew better than speaking up.
“Alright, let’s go from the top, first song,” Nakamaru told them and walked to turn on the background music. Singing would have to wait, first they had to get their choreography memorized.
Jin sighed and walked to his position. He was tired and extremely irritable and he had a hunch he really wouldn’t stand for a lot of struggling with this rehearsal.
If someone had told Ryo a year ago that a year from now he would voluntarily be in Ueda Tatsuya’s apartment, pressed between his open legs giving him a rimjob, he would probably have either laughed or punched the guy who had the nerve to suggest such an unthinkable thing. Yet here he was, so accustomed to the taste of Tatsuya’s skin he couldn’t imagine living without it.
He could feel the other languid and completely relaxed under his treatment. Ryo glanced at Ueda with a small grin, his mouth glued to the other’s opening and his palm mercilessly stroking the other’s length. It was a bit unnerving how fast Ryo had gone from just wanting to fuck and get off to actually taking the time and effort to pleasure Tatsuya with little regard to himself.
It was taking all of Tatsuya’s will not to just grab Ryo’s hair and pull. As it was, his fingers were doing a number on the blankets underneath him as he tried not to squirm too much. His chest rising and falling with deep arousal, he looked down at Ryo between his legs and couldn’t help but grin...before Ryo made his eyes roll to the back of his head and he had to flop his head back down on the pillow to moan. Times like these he seriously forgot how much he hated Nishikido Ryo.
Maybe he never hated him at all, but he was far from ever admitting it. Right now he couldn’t remember anything other than Ryo’s name.
Ryo took his sweet time inflicting the torturous pleasure on Tatsuya and prepared him thoroughly before pushing into his relaxed body.
He went slowly, his hands almost cradling Tatsuya’s head as he kissed the older boy deeply. They both liked it hard and fast but this time Ryo wanted to be slow and intimate.
Tatsuya was languid underneath him, his arms curling around Ryo and whimpering as the other pushed in. Kissing him back, Tatsuya seemed to be in no rush to hurry this session along. Times like these he really loved how slow Ryo could take it, how he could feel every single second of it. He opened his eyes and watched the other, hand running lightly through Ryo’s hair, he could feel their breaths colliding.
Ryo pressed an almost gentle kiss on Ueda’s forehead and in his eyes shone his untold feelings. This wasn’t just sex to him. It had stopped being just sex the second Ryo had started giving a fuck about Ueda’s pleasure. But Tatsuya still wasn’t his. Yamauchi was still in the picture and with that in mind Ryo pushed in harder but just a bit.
Whimpering a little louder, Tatsuya pulled Ryo’s hair a little in revenge but his eyes fluttered and he was languid underneath him again. He kept watching him. Tatsuya was addicted to Ryo’s face, he had been long before he even started doing this with him. An almost gentle hand came down to caress the side of Ryo’s face as he pushed back against him and pushed locks of hair out of Ryo’s face so he could kiss his cheek, his temple, his forehead and eyebrow. His other hand was on Ryo’s bare back, feeling over smooth skin and gripping when Ryo pushed against that spot that made his entire body shiver.
Ryo moved his hand down to grasp Tatsuya’s manhood and add to the pleasure. He wanted to see his eyes flutter and hear his breathing hitch. He was shivering lightly himself, the slow and controlled movements steadily bringing him closer and closer to the edge. His eyes were boring into Tatsuya’s intensely.
He got exactly what he wanted. By now they’d been doing this so long, they knew how to make the other do what they wanted. How to make them moan, whimper. Sometimes Tatsuya felt that Ryo knew his body better than Yamauchi did.
Raking his blunt fingernails down Ryo’s back, Tatsuya’s blonde hair curled in wisps and light locks on the pillow beneath his head. His eyes, light and attentive, were watching Ryo’s. Matching his intensity as he started sporadically tightening himself over the other. He wanted to hear Ryo react, see how he could affect the other boy too.
Ryo let out a breathy moan and he tightened his grip over Tatsuya. He could feel his end coming towards him and with one last push he shuddered and came inside Tatsuya. He kept his hand moving through his orgasm with the goal of making Tatsuya lose it as well. He gave the other a meaningful look, telling him he wanted him to come.
Tatsuya wasn’t far behind him, his fingers in Ryo’s hair and on his back tightened a little as his breath started hitching, coming in quicker and quicker the closer he got. With one last moan, he finally let go of Ryo’s eye contact, closing his own eyes and tilting his head back into the pillow. He panted hard and slid his hand down Ryo’s arm, almost appreciatively as he gasped, coming down from his high.
Ryo rolled off Tatsuya, his chest heaving a bit as he rested on the bed. Usually, he’d go and take a shower and then leave but today he didn’t quite feel like doing that just yet.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” he asked lazily. Was Yamauchi going to barge in here anytime soon?
“Off working,” Tatsuya answered, albeit reluctantly. He didn’t like thinking about Yamauchi when he was here with Ryo. When he stopped to think about it, he was a horrible human being. He’d been fooling around behind Yamauchi’s back for awhile now and he still felt no urge to stop with Ryo. Or to tell Yamauchi the truth.
He sighed heavily and sat up, tenderly getting himself off the bed “I’m going to shower first, if you don’t mind,” he muttered and reached for his clothes.
“Suit yourself,” Ryo hummed and reached to his jeans on the floor to take out a cigarette from the back pocket. Lying on the bed, he watched the smoke raise to the ceiling and when the doorbell rang, he ignored it at first. But as it kept ringing and ringing persistently, Ryo got up and pulled a pair of underwear on.
Sauntering to the door, he peeked through the peephole and when he saw Yamauchi, looking anxious and even a bit guilty, Ryo really didn’t know what to do.
He knew he was a secret but to be honest, he was tired of it. And Yamauchi didn’t deserve this either. Slowly, Ryo reached for the door knob and opened the door.
On the other side, Yamauchi was looking around worriedly. Tatsuya had told him he was busy with work today. Lately, he had been busy with work more and more often and Yamauchi wasn’t stupid. He knew something was going on and today, the anxiety had peaked and he has decided to figure this out once and for all.
When he saw Ryo on the other side of the door, his eyes widened slightly before he settled down for a calm, serious expression.
“I won’t say this isn’t what it looks like because I would be lying,” Ryo started and stepped aside, letting Yamauchi come in. He wasn’t that worried for himself, he knew Yamauchi wasn’t the type to punch anyone. Yamauchi heard the shower going and walked to the living room after nodding to Ryo briefly, signaling he had understood what was going on.. He sat down and crossed his arms, patiently waiting for Tatsuya to come out. Meanwhile, Ryo went to the bedroom to get properly dressed.
When Tatsuya came out of the bathroom, towel over his shoulders and dressed in a simple shirt and shorts, he looked at Ryo first and saw the other was already dressed.
“What's…” he paused and glanced into the living room. He saw Yamauchi and his eyes widened in alarm. He didn’t even know what to say, he hadn’t been expecting the other to be here.
Ryo walked in the living room as well and sat down. Yamauchi looked at Tatsuya calmly.
“Go ahead and sit down,” he told the boy solemnly. He wasn’t freaking out, in fact he wasn’t showing any kind of emotion outwards. Ryo knew better than talking out loud, this was between Ueda and Yamauchi.
Tatsuya was kind of freaking out in his head. He’d known something like this had to eventually happen but he wasn’t prepared at all for it happening now.
He glanced at Ryo and figured the other must have let Yamauchi in. The man wouldn’t have barged in and he didn’t have a key. Tatsuya never gave him one in case he...found out about this.
Slowly walking in, he took a seat and glanced at the two of them before settling his eyes on Yamauchi.
“I…” he tried, his throat was blocking up fast and he didn’t know what to say “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not stupid enough to keep buying this. That you always happen to work in the evenings and nights, that you keep getting last minute call-ins at work. I’ve sensed something’s wrong for a while now, I just came to confirm my suspicions.” Yamauchi glanced at Ryo. This explained the boy’s weird behavior earlier at the agency.
Tatsuya glanced at Ryo as well. Ryo, who knew he was supposed to be a secret and also knew the rules. He wasn’t even supposed to be here, let alone answering Tatsuya’s door.
He took a deep breath and turned his gaze back to Yamauchi. There wasn’t even any point in making excuses, the man knew already.
“I’m sorry,” he spoke quietly. He wanted to say that he’d been trying to tell Yamauchi but that would be at least half a lie. He’d been too scared to tell Yamauchi, battling with his head for awhile now about this and his conscience had now all but torn him to pieces about it.
“So is that what you really want? Because I know you haven’t been invested in our relationship nearly half as much as I have. First I wrote it off as you just being young and wanting freedom but I see how it is now,” Yamauchi told him. “You don’t love me do you?”
Ryo fidgeted uncomfortably. He knew Tatsuya didn’t love Yamauchi. If he did he wouldn’t be doing this.
Tatsuya fidgeted as well, he looked down at his knees, unable to even look Yamauchi in the eye. He had tried, in the beginning, to love Yamauchi. Who wouldn’t? The man was sweet, attentive and kind. He’d put his all in Tatsuya and the boy knew he had. Spent his every free second trying to see him and Tatsuya…
He felt a pang in his chest. This hurt. He always knew he was a monster but he was feeling it more now and the thud in his heart wouldn’t stop.
“No,” he finally answered honestly “I don’t.”
He looked up at last and met Yamauchi’s eyes “I’m sorry. I should have told you but...I didn’t know how and…” after all this time, he still didn’t want to admit the truth. That he hated Ryo a lot less than he thought he did.
“So you decided cheating on me and dragging me along even though you knew I was in love with you was the right option?” Yamauchi asked dryly. He allowed a hue of sadness in his eyes and shook his head.
“I had my suspicions but I never thought you could do something like this. I just thought you were maybe avoiding me.”
“I didn’t mean to…” Tatsuya shook his head and tried to sort some coherent sentence together to explain this. But he didn’t even know how to explain it. He hadn’t intentionally jumped into bed with Ryo but on the other hand, he didn’t stop it. And he kept coming back for it. It might have worked as an excuse if he never did it again but Tatsuya had been doing this with Ryo for over a year now.
He was still acutely aware the other was still in the room.
“Ryo please,” he told the other “Can you leave? Go into another room or something?”
Ryo shrugged and got up. He walked to the bedroom and closed the door after himself.
Yamauchi looked defeated.
“I’m really disappointed in you, Tatsuya. I thought we seriously had something.” Yamauchi had been ready to move in together and be steady. He felt like a fool.
“I’m so sorry,” Tatsuya shook his head, he felt a little better now that Ryo wasn’t seeing this.
“I really am, I should have told you but…” he hesitated and looked over the other man. He was a monster, to do this to someone like Yamauchi.
“You deserve better,” he told him “Much better than me. I’m really, really sorry.”
His chest was aching too, he wanted to love Yamauchi and he’d tried. But it wasn’t going to work. He should have cut him loose earlier, much earlier than this.
Yamauchi got up and walked to the door without as much as looking at Tatsuya. He walked out with a shake of his head. He had been played for a fool and he just wanted to leave with dignity. He knew they both knew this was over.
Tatsuya watched him leave and when the door closed behind him, he looked down and shivered. That was awful. Knowing he’d hurt Yamauchi like that...then again he’d known for awhile that he was always going to hurt Yamauchi.
He wondered if he’d have hurt him less if he’d just told him about this himself.
He took a few deep breaths but it still hurt. Alongside the realisation that he couldn’t have predicted how this felt was the knowledge that he hated himself more than ever now.
He rubbed his face and slowly got up. At last, he walked to the bedroom, opened the door and looked at Ryo.
Though he knew this was only partially Ryo’s fault and most of the blame lay on him, the fact remained that Ryo had let Yamauchi in and forced this to be over.
“Why did you answer the door?” he asked the other “Why did you let him in?!”
Lying on the bed, he looked at Tatsuya before yawning and sitting up.
“Because it was about time this ridiculous circus came to an end,” he replied calmly. “This has been going on for over a year, you would never have told him on your own.”
“I needed time,” Tatsuya told him “More time. I would have told him I just…”
Well he didn’t know if he would have told him or not but he didn’t appreciate Ryo doing it for him.
“Go,” he pointed to the door “Get out. That wasn’t your business to butt into and you knew it, get out!”
Ryo shrugged and got up. He grabbed his bag and walked to the bedroom door.
“You’ll thank me in the long run,” he announced before exiting the room and walking to the front door. Tatsuya could blame him all he wanted but it wouldn’t change the facts.
Tatsuya closed the door after Ryo and ran a hand through his hair. He was angry and it was far easier to be pissed off at Ryo than at himself.
Sooner or later, he’d know to blame himself, to think through this and come to the very obvious conclusion that he had done this to himself and he was the only person who had hurt Yamauchi so gravely.
But one thing he did know, either way, he wasn’t going back to Nishikido Ryo.
That time really was the last time.
Teppei Koike was very sweet. His nature kind of reminded Kazuya of Tegoshi Yuya sometimes, what with that smile and the way he’d always kind of cutely butt into things that had nothing to do with him. Never too prying but always curious and interested in the affairs of other peoples lives. Particularly his co-stars.
They were nearly five episodes in. Filming every single day, going to rehearsals and then concerts, coming home late, getting about three hours sleep before they had to go again.
The Kaizokuban concerts were on full steam. It always excited Kazuya, standing up onstage and singing, performing with KAT-TUN like they really were a real debuted group.
With the popularity they could pull in, they might as well be debuted. He still didn’t understand why they weren’t yet.
Still, with everything going on, Kazuya could hardly think about that. The rare times he had when he wasn’t on all the time, was between shots.
“The rice is cold,” Kazuya pointed out as he sat near the trailers with Teppei and watched the other put a raw egg over his lunch “The rice isn’t going to cook it, you’re just going to get gooey egg.”
“I like it that way,” Teppei grinned as he stirred the egg into the rice quickly. He took a bite and squirmed with delight “Nice and slimy.”
“Eww,” Kazuya laughed but leaned in to let Teppei feed him a bit so he could try it. Sure enough, the raw slimy egg coated over the rice and made him squirm a little too.
“I think I’ll stick with my onigiri thank you,” he coughed and went back to his lunch.
He was so tired, he could feel exhaustion pulling at his eyes, begging for just another hour of sleep but he didn’t have time. He refused to look tired in front of the others, which was why he was smiling and appearing more awake than he really was.
To think he had another concert performance soon. If Kazuya wasn’t already resigned to devoting himself completely to his job, he might have whined at the thought.
Jin was still on the scene discussing his lines with the director. He had seen Kazuya getting more and more tired and he was tired as well. But Kazuya had Nobuta wo Produce to work on as well. On top of that, they had their concert. It was definitely taking a toll on their relationship. They didn’t have time for each other. He saw Kazuya all day long but the other was getting more and more distant each day.
When he finally went to the trailer to grab a quick lunch, Kazuya was already coming back to the scene. Jin gave the other a small smile as they passed, going to eat alone in the trailer.
As strange as it was, to think that something else could take Kazuya’s mind off Jin and his seemingly neverending affection for him, Kazuya was doing quite well in his job. With his mind competely dedicated to fulfilling the task at hand, he was memorising his lines for his upcoming episodes as well as mentally preparing himself for concerts and the second drama scheduled to begin filming not long after the end of Gokusen.
He always did know 2005 would be a busy year for him but he’d only been half prepared for how busy and how tired he was really going to be.
The only thing that got him through on a day by day basis was the knowledge that he’d asked for this. Come hell or high water, this was what he had wanted and he was working his ass off to get it. He’d be like his seniors, he’d be an idol like the others and no amount of endless work was going to stop him.
Kazuya could be quite determined when he needed to be.
Still, in all the hectic scheduling, he hadn’t noticed how little time he had for Jin. In rare, idle moments, he noticed how little he’d seen the other - despite being with him all the time - but those moments when he had time to breathe, think, and realise his relationship with Jin was suffering, were rare to nonexistent and when he came back on set, he was completely and wholeheartedly, Odagiri Ryu.
Which was just as well, because when Odagiri looked at Hayato with those puppydog eyes, just barely restraining himself from showing how in love with him he really was, Kazuya didn’t really have to act. After the lunchbreak, Kazuya found himself sitting at his desk at the back of 3D. The others were playing around, behaving like normal teenage boys whilst everyone waited for lighting to get sorted. Kazuya crossed one leg over the other and looked down. He hadn’t worn a school uniform in awhile, it was almost refreshing. He was reminded, every time he put this on, that he’d left school early, and thus missed out on a few things.
He picked at his second button and glanced over at Jin, watching as the other stood up and leaned over his desk to do something. It gave Kazuya a perfect view of his ass, which he took a moment to check out whilst nobody was looking.
Jin was somewhere quite else in his mind. He was trying to concentrate on his lines but he wasn’t like Kazuya, he couldn’t just turn off his thoughts and focus. He was getting by with some natural talent but he did forget his lines and instructions. Some may even call him unprofessional.
It was only a moment that Kazuya looked at Jin. Just a moment. When the director told them all that the shooting would begin soon, he turned back to what he was supposed to be doing and switched his mind to the task at hand.
When the day finally ended and shooting was over, Kazuya dressed back into his own clothes and headed out without much of a word to Jin. They had to go to rehearsals as soon as possible and already Kazuya was thinking about what he had to run through before the concert.
Whereas Kazuya was thinking about work, Jin was thinking about their relationship. It was going downhill. Kazuya was too busy and even after Gokusen and the concert were done, Kazuya would still be busy. He had Nobuta wo Produce to film.
The drive to the venue was silent but Kazuya barely noticed. He was reading over his script as Jin drove. When they got there, Kazuya’s idol mode was on full blast as he walked into the rehearsals and patted Koki on the back on his way “Let’s get this show going then!” he called.
Tatsuya looked at him and turned to look at Jin too “Is he on something? Even I’m not that energetic.”
“Come on guys, we have a concert to put on soon,” Kazuya grinned widely as he went to the back and put on one of the hats they were to wear as pirates “It’ll be fun!”
Nobody but Jin could probably tell that Kazuya was well beyond exhausted.
“I don’t freaking know,” Jin muttered as he got changed. He glanced at Kazuya but let it be. Him trying to intervene in Kazuya’s work drive would result in nothing but a fight. Resigned, he got ready for the rehearsals. He just wanted this day to be over. Hell, he wanted this concert and the drama to be over as well.
The rehearsal went smoothly and so did the soundcheck. It wasn’t like it was their first concert but each concert was special in its own way. The setlist had to be carefully decided, everyone had to know when and where they were to be. Kazuya played around with almost everyone and it wasn’t like he really had to try either. KAT-TUN were getting closer as a group, all of them with the shared experience of being together so long and not knowing if they would ever debut.
It was about halfway through the concert, the lights were on them, the fans were screaming and their juniors had just taken their ship and replaced their flag. After Junno’s solo song, TaNaka’s comedy part, Tatsuya’s impression of Junno, it was finally Kazuya’s turn.
Later. Years later. He would blame his incredible fatigue on what happened with MC Kame.
Jin’s expression went from encouragement to terror to intense second-hand embarrassment. When Kazuya, too overexcited, just talked things that didn’t really make sense and just weren’t very cool, he couldn’t keep himself from hiding his face in his hands. Kazuya would never hear the end of this.
“Someone get him out of there,” he whimpered to Koki, who was busy laughing his ass off.
Either the audience didn’t notice and were just as excited and hyped as Kazuya or they did and they cheered anyway. Either way, Kazuya’s MC corner ended with him clearing his throat, saying “Thank you” and heading back into the cage with the rest of his group.
Embarrassing or not, they still had a show to continue with and after Taguchi’s impressive corner with the juggling, they were finally let out of the cage to continue with the performance.
It was a long night and when it was finally over, it was 11pm and they were all in the dressing room getting changed and ready to go home.
Tatsuya pulled a shirt over his head and turned around to watch Kazuya practically glomp Yabu Kota as he was leaving.
“Be safe getting home, okay?” he purred, hugging the laughing fifteen year old to his chest.
“I will I will,” Yabu promised “Let go, my mum’s waiting.”
Kazuya leaned on the boy until he was laughing and trying to push him off. Yabu gave Kazuya to Fujigaya who happily hugged him and congratulated KAT-TUN again on another performance.
“Gayaaaa!” Kazuya grinned, hugging the boy tightly “Good dancing tonight, very good dancing. Let’s go out for dinner sometime.”
Jin rolled his eyes. He had already showered and changed and by the looks of it Kazuya wasn’t going to be ready anytime soon. Jin was contemplating how rude it would be to leave Kazuya to get a cab home instead of waiting for him himself.
Tatsuya watched some of the others leaving and glanced at Jin, who was ready to leave if only Kazuya would stop schmoozing with the juniors. He took a deep breath and wandered over to grab Kazuya from Fujigaya.
“Let’s make some plans later!” Fujigaya called after them eagerly.
Kazuya grinned and followed as Tatsuya gave him to Jin.
“Go home, you’re tired and you get stupid when you’re tired,” Tatsuya told him.
“I’m not tired,” Kazuya lied unsuccessfully.
Tatsuya just shook his head, nodded to Jin and headed off. When he was gone, Kazuya looked around at the people still in the room and smiled at Jin “Let’s go.”
He was pretending, that smile on his face was hiding everything.
Jin found it quite hard to give a damn about anything. He started leading Kazuya out of the building towards the parking lot. In the eyes of the agency, they were roommates but not lovers and lately, Jin had felt like that as well. They didn’t act like lovers, they acted like roommates.
“Wanna stop to grab some food?” Jin asked as they got in the car.
Kazuya was all smiles and bounciness right up until they got in the car. He leaned against the seat with an exhausted sigh and closed his eyes.
“Honestly, I’m so tired I don’t even think I can manage a burger,” he confessed to Jin and opened his eyes to look at the clock on the dashboard. He groaned “If we get something, it’ll have to be quick. We’re not going to have long before we have to get up again.”
Jin nodded. No dinner then. He started the car and took course straight to their apartment.
“I think the apartment is getting quite tiny. We should try to see if we can rent a bigger one,” he mused out loud. Initially the apartment had been just for Jin. And lately it had felt ever smaller than usual.
Kazuya barely acknowledged the streetlights passing as Jin drove. He pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded “Yeah...but we’re hardly in it as it is at the moment.”
Still he agreed, a bigger apartment would be nice.
“Well, the concert is over. Maybe it’ll get easier from here,” Jin suggested carefully. Maybe they would have time for themselves again. Still, he was tired as well and he could see the evening going like any other: coming home and going straight to bed.
Kazuya was zoning out, staring through the dashboard on the car and not really paying much attention to anything else. When they finally got home, he followed Jin into the apartment block and up to their floor. He took off his shoes at the door and went straight to the bedroom to pull off his shirt and get changed. Maybe later it would get easier but right now, Kazuya was too tired to really pay much attention to the fact that he hadn’t done anything with Jin for a while. Shirtless, Kazuya wandered aimlessly around the room trying to find something to wear to bed.
Jin went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. It was just like every other night. When he got out and saw Kazuya, he couldn’t help testing the ice even though he already knew the outcome. He walked to the boy and pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder, wordlessly asking if Kazuya, against all odds, would feel like it today.
Kazuya, who had been looking through his drawers, looked up at Jin and watched him for a moment. He felt the tug of absolute exhaustion pulling at his eyelids and he knew he was going to pass out soon. But the kiss had reminded him as well, they hadn’t done anything, not even kiss, in some time. A moment passed, with him just looking at Jin before he reached over and gently took Jin’s hand. He leaned in to kiss the other gently, taking Jin’s wordless invitation.
Jin saw the exhaustion in Kazuya’s eyes and pulled back from the kiss. He kissed the other’s forehead before letting out a small sigh and walking to the bed. He buried himself in the blankets and closed his eyes. He didn’t want Kazuya to do anything with him out of pure obligation.
Kazuya couldn’t help a small sigh either at the sight. He gave up on the shirt and went to bed in a pair of shorts instead. He flicked the lights off on his way, went to the bathroom to brush his teeth before coming back and flopping into bed next to Jin. Maybe if he wasn’t so tired, he’d try talking to the other but he had just enough time to nuzzle himself into Jin’s side before passing out completely. He missed the other too.
Months passed and with the success of the Kaizokuban concerts, KAT-TUN were favourites and regulars in Shounen Club. So much so they were almost always running it. When Gokusen ended, the weight of carrying a drama and doing idol duties at the same time lifted. But it wasn’t long at all before Kazuya was onto his next drama. He was practicing lines and going out to meetings almost all the time. When he was in KAT-TUN, he was in the zone...but so much so he was almost untouchable.
So on a Thursday morning, it didn’t surprise KAT-TUN at all to hear that their youngest was in another meeting and would be late for Shounen Club rehearsals.
Tatsuya leaned back in his chair and glanced at Jin. The other looked better, less tired since Gokusen shooting had ended but he still sensed something wrong. Just a little off. He knew he couldn’t expect Kazuya and Jin to act like a couple around KAT-TUN as two members still did not know about them but he could have sworn he’d felt this coldness before.
“Hey Tatchan,” Junno spoke from where he was stretching near the mirror “How come we don’t see Yamauchi around anymore? You’re never on your phone either, you used to be attached to that thing.”
Tatsuya winced and glanced at Koki for a second before looking down “We broke up,” he confessed “Actually, he left me.”
“What a shocker,” Koki barked from where he was sitting. He gave Tatsuya a meaningful look. Jin glanced at Taguchi, he was probably the only one who didn’t know. Koki had probably told Nakamaru already.
“So what about the... other?” Nakamaru asked carefully. Koki had told him about it after a particularly hard party, Koki had missed the last train home and appeared behind Nakamaru’s door.
Tatsuya glanced at Taguchi’s now confused face and sighed heavily. He glanced at Koki for a moment before shaking his head and clearing it up for the poor boy.
“I was cheating on Yamauchi,” he told Taguchi clearly “Repeatedly. For over a year.”
Taguchi’s eyes widened in alarm and he looked around at the others. When he saw none of them were particularly shocked, he turned back to Tatsuya “...oh.”
“He’s gone, they’re both gone,” Tatsuya continued and folded his arms “I regret what I did to Yamauchi and the fact that I was too chickenshit to tell him earlier but it’s done now and they’re both out of my life.”
Taguchi looked at the others, he wondered how they’d known about this before him. He cleared his throat awkwardly “Um...so...the other guy...who was it?”
Tatsuya wondered if Taguchi would be able to keep that secret. To continue as normal and look at Nishikido Ryo without knowing that he’d been having an affair with one of his bandmates.
Then again, the others did know too. Perhaps Taguchi shouldn’t be kept in the dark about it. He glanced at Koki, wordlessly asking his opinion.
“It was Nishikido Ryo,” Koki announced with a sigh. “Seriously though, why did you cheat in the first place if you wanted neither in the end. Or did Nishikido leave on his own accord?”
Koki had heard a few rumors about Ryo receiving new company sooner rather than later. “I mean, he is tabloids deep into that one teen model...”
Taguchi’s eyes went wider than they were before. He stared incredulously at the others, almost expecting one of them to say they were joking and it was all a joke on him. But the others looked just as serious and he turned to Tatsuya.
“Nishikido Ryo?!” he choked “But you hate him!”
“I hate his guts and told him to leave, he can do what he likes,” Tatsuya replied calmly “Whatever. It’s over. We were never together and it was a...thing,” he grimaced and squirmed a little “Where the hell is Kamenashi?”
He glanced at Jin. Of everyone, Jin would know where the other was.
To everyone’s surprise, Jin merely shrugged. Kazuya had some meeting but he didn’t know what it was about. He hardly saw Kazuya nowadays anyway, the other was always busy with work, filming Nobuta wo Produce. He merely came home to sleep. Jin had a lot more free time in his hands and he didn’t really know what to do with it.
Tatsuya noticed the look on Jin’s face and frowned in confusion. Maybe the others thought that Jin should know Kazuya’s whereabouts because he was his roommate but Tatsuya and Nakamaru knew he should know more than that. Because they were lovers….weren’t they?
“I still don’t understand…” Taguchi spoke up “Nishikido?”
Tatsuya rubbed his eyes and leaned back in his seat “It’s done, let it go.”
“But you hate him, I don’t understand how you can jump into bed with someone you hate,” Taguchi spoke “And Yamauchi was so kind too…”
“Yes, yes, Yamauchi was the perfect, attentive guy and clearly I was insane to cheat on him,” Tatsuya huffed, irritated at himself and because Taguchi wouldn’t let it go “But Nishikido was a mistake.”
One he kept making for over a year and still couldn’t figure out why.
“If you must know, the best way I can explain it is because I needed something Yamauchi couldn’t give me...and that Kansai asshole could.”
“Lots of attitude and hard dicking,” Koki translated to Junno. Nakamaru gave the other a scolding look and tried his best not to listen. Wordlessly, Jin wondered if that was exactly what Kazuya needed to relax from his responsibilities for a while and just be Jin’s lover again.
Tatsuya opened his mouth to say something when someone knocked on the door. They looked up to see their manager coming into the room.
He was an older man, frazzled as KAT-TUN’s undebuted popularity kept him on his toes. Managing six boys, half of them teenagers, was no simple feat.
“Oh good, you’re all here,” he spoke as he closed the door behind himself.
“Not all,” Taguchi pointed out “Kame isn’t here.”
“That’s what I’ve come to talk to you about,” their manager said and turned to them “Kamenashi is currently in a meeting with Johnny and Yamashita about the upcoming drama, Nobuta wo Produce. I’ve just come to let you know that some of the negotiations have been pre-arranged.”
The boys looked just a little confused and so he elaborated “Kamenashi and Yamashita did not get a say in them. They were arranged beforehand.”
“What arrangements?” Tatsuya frowned.
“There is to be a duo group made for the drama. Shuji to Akira,” their manager beamed “Kamenashi is to debut with Yamashita.”
The news was met with complete stunned silence.
“He’s going to debut without us?” Nakamaru finally asked. Had they been working for nothing?
Above all, Jin was the most shocked. Kazuya hadn’t told him about this. He had mentioned nothing that he was suddenly going to debut without Jin. And what’s worse, Kazuya had earlier talked him out of joining a trio with Kazuya and Yamapi with an almost 100% chance of debuting. And now they were going to do it without him?
“Wha...how?!” Tatsuya demanded, finally snapped out of his shock “What about us?!”
“The arrangements are set, there’s no changing them,” the manager told them “I’m just letting you know. Kamenashi will be very busy for the next couple of months, he may have to sit out of a few KAT-TUN activities to allow for this.”
“But what about us?!” Taguchi asked, a little more pitifully than Tatsuya had “We’ve been working so hard...why aren’t we debuting yet?!”
“I’m not Johnny, I can’t tell you,” their manager nodded and headed for the door “I’m just here to let you know so he doesn’t have to.”
He left and when the door closed behind him, Tatsuya gritted his teeth “This is...bullshit!” he hissed and looked around the room at the others. He rounded on Jin “Did he say anything to you?” he asked and without thinking, added “You of all people should have known about this, you’re his fucking boyfriend!”
“I didn’t know!” Jin defended himself. He really hadn’t known and he was as furious as the rest of them.
“Wait, you’re his boyfriend?” Koki asked. “What else are you keeping from us?! Since when has this been going on?”
“Ueda,” Nakamaru hissed to the boy. This situation could’ve managed without the knowledge of Jin and Kazuya’s relationship out in the open.
Tatsuya glanced at Nakamaru, but he was a little too pissed about the situation to even think that he’d just outed Jin and Kazuya. He felt betrayed enough as it was.
“Wait, what?” Taguchi choked and looked at Jin with wide eyes “What?!”
“Great,” Jin sighed and rubbed his eyelids. “As if this couldn’t have gotten any worse.”
“How long exactly have you been dating behind our backs?” Koki asked, half convinced he didn’t even want to know.
“A few years,” Jin muttered. He gave Ueda a very nasty glare.
Tatsuya rolled his eyes and looked away. As far as he was concerned, Kazuya had just gone behind all of them. The fact that he was dating Jin was miniscule compared to that.
He grabbed his bag “Fuck this shit, I’m going home,” he announced and hauled his bag up on his shoulder. He stomped out of the room and Taguchi looked over Jin. He felt a little lost.
Today he’d just found out that Ueda had been fucking Nishikido Ryo and Jin had been dating Kazuya for years and none of them knew.
He paused at the thought and looked around “Um...so...Tatsuya knew about you two but did anyone else..? Or am I the last to find out again?”
“I didn’t know either,” Koki told Junno and turned to Nakamaru.
“I did,” Nakamaru sighed and was met with a gasp from Koki.
“I told you about Ueda and Nishikido but you didn’t tell me about this?!” he exclaimed accusingly.
Jin gave Nakamaru a small grateful smile. They had at least one member around here who kept his promises.
They were interrupted by the door opening again. Kazuya appeared on the other side, looking pale and more tired than he had been in a long time. The bags under his eyes were telling and when he looked at the remaining members in the room, he knew they already knew.
“So...you’ve been told then,” he sighed heavily and closed the door behind him “Great.”
“Yeah, we’ve been told about more than just your debut,” Koki announced dryly.
“Wasn’t me, thank Ueda,” Jin muttered when he saw Kazuya’s gaze land on him.
Nakamaru looked around worriedly. He wanted to tell everyone to calm down but he knew it was far too late for that, everyone was riled up already.
“You’re debuting without us?!” Taguchi brought it up first “How...I mean...I thought you wanted KAT-TUN-”
“I do want KAT-TUN,” Kazuya told them tiredly “I argued it to Johnny but he wouldn’t listen to me. I don’t get a choice in this, I’m debuting with Pi.”
“And you and Jin….” Taguchi glanced at the other and shook his head “I think I need to go.”
“What about practice?” Kazuya looked around “And where’s Ueda?”
Taguchi picked up his bag and headed to the door “It’s not much of a practice anyway. What’s the point when you’re leaving?”
He left through the door and Kazuya, thoroughly confused, turned to Jin.
“I’m not gonna touch this with a ten foot stick. I’m out of here,” Koki grumbled and went to grab his stuff. Nakamaru looked at Jin and Kazuya, trying to think of something to stay but after a minute of silence, he gave up and left the two alone in the room.
Jin couldn’t even look at Kazuya right now. His eyes were glued to the floor.
Kazuya was tired. He couldn’t remember a day when he wasn’t tired or skipping meals because he simply didn’t have the time for it. He rubbed his face and went to sit down.
“Jin,” he tried, sensing the other was angry at him “I did not get a choice in this. I literally just had this thrown at me this morning.”
Jin turned to finally look at Kazuya. He gave the other a long look. He looked over his tired face, his thin body, and shook his head.
“Is this really who you want to be? A soon-to-be burnt out shooting star whose life is nothing but endless work? You need to figure out who you are soon, because I don’t know you anymore.”
He got up and shook his head. This seemed like the last nail in their coffin. “I’ll go to my parents for tonight and tomorrow, I’ll start looking for that bigger apartment... Alone.”
Kazuya looked up from his hands, he blinked at Jin and for the moment, he didn’t know what to think. He almost didn’t understand Jin.
“Jin...I didn’t ask for this, not for the debut anyway,” he stood up and walked to Jin “It’s not going to be forever, I just need to get past this drama and things will be normal again I...what are you saying?”
“I’m tired of this. I don’t know when you changed from my boyfriend to a strange roommate I never see but I don’t think there’s much point to this. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I touched you.” Jin shook his head. He was tired himself. He was tired of being lonely and seeing Kazuya need him less and less every day.
The younger boy watched him. Thoroughly confused. He’d known it was going to be busy but they’d been together all the time during Gokusen. Now that things had changed, and with the debut as well…
“How can you expect me to be capable of doing anything right now?” he asked the other in a quiet voice “Jin, I am still your boyfriend. I didn’t ask for Johnny to make me debut first and I’ve been tired. You know I’ve been tired. It’s temporary, it won’t be forever, don’t…” he swallowed hard and reached to take Jin’s hand “Don’t leave me.”
“I don’t think you need me. You have a promising career arising and your days are busy as they are.” Jin didn’t shrug Kazuya’s hand off but he did close his eyes. He didn’t know how to feel right now. He had been feeling betrayed for a long while now. Kazuya didn’t seem to care about him anymore, he didn’t even try to do things with him. And now this. Of all the people, Kazuya had to debut with bloody Pi.
“Jin please,” Kazuya stepped closer now that he saw the other wasn’t shrugging him off or running away from him. He took Jin’s hand with both of his now and watched the other closely.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been tired, I’ve been trying to do everything and I cannot let people know how tired I really am and I know that’s been having an effect on you but please,” he pleaded “I love you as much as I did before, that hasn’t changed. I’m still the same.”
“You’re not the same. Have you taken a good look at yourself in the mirror lately?” Jin asked dryly. “You’re a skeleton. A tired skeleton whose mind has turned into a machine. You do nothing but work. You talk of nothing but work. All you come home to do is sleep and a lot of the time you don’t even do that but sleep in a hotel. I barely see you anymore, I don’t even get a call or a text.”
“It’s not forever, this is temporary,” Kazuya promised “I’m tired. I barely get time to do anything, I’m skipping meals, I’m skipping sleep because there’s simply no time for it.”
He watched the other and frowned confusedly “I thought you’d understand. Don’t you believe me when I say I don’t want this debut either?”
“I don’t know what to think,” Jin confessed. He looked into Kazuya’s eyes, feeling confused, and leaned in just to see if he still felt the same. He took Kazuya’s lips for the first time in ages and gave the other a short kiss.
“Do you even feel anything when I do this?” he asked. At the bottom of it all Jin was insecure. He felt like Kazuya didn’t need him.
“Of course I do,” Kazuya whispered, he reached a hand up to caress the side of Jin’s face and leaned in a little closer until their foreheads were nearly touching. Kazuya watched Jin worriedly “Please. Don’t leave me. I know it’s been hard the last couple of months and it’s not going to get easier with this drama but please don’t leave me.”
“Let’s just go home,” he told the other, giving up the idea of leaving for tonight. He’d have time to think about it later. He just wanted to go home and take a long shower.
Kazuya was still concerned. Jin had threatened to leave him and he didn’t realise how much he’d been absent and gone from Jin’s life but it had to be a lot more than he realised to get to this point. He looked around the room and leaned in to Jin “We were supposed to be practicing in here for an hour,” he told Jin “The others are gone and…”
He didn’t want to tell Jin just yet, but he had another appointment later tonight. He wouldn’t be home again and he knew it. Still, he didn’t want this to get any more damaged.
He leaned into Jin and took both of his hands before leaning in to kiss him meaningfully. It wasn’t a light peck either, it was a hard kiss, showing Jin that Kazuya had missed him just as much.
Jin felt somehow uneasy as he took a hold of Kazuya’s shoulders and pushed him back. He was still mad, wounded and felt betrayed. He was in no condition to have kinky sex in their rehearsal room.
“Let’s just go home. It’s been a long day,” he sighed and walked to get his coat.
The younger boy watched him, quite hurt that the other could push him off. But in a way, he did understand. However much Kazuya said he didn’t want this debut, it would still sting Jin most of all. Especially because they had been offered the chance to debut together with Pi and Kazuya was the one who’d said no.
“I...have a meeting later,” he told Jin reluctantly “Please let me make it up to you. I didn’t mean to be as neglectful as I have been, I’ll do better.”
Jin paused mid-motion as he was putting his coat on. Of course Kazuya had a meeting. He resumed and walked out of the room without a word. So he’d just go home alone. Again. Jin went to the elevator and leaned against the wall with a sigh. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. Would he really just be better off without Kazuya? And furthermore, would Kazuya be better off without him?
Left in the rehearsal room, Kazuya sank into a chair and rubbed at his face again. He shivered, worried the other really was going to leave him. He wanted to make it up to Jin somehow, he wanted to do everything he could but…
His phone went off and Kazuya glanced at it to see his managers name. More planning for the debut, no doubt. Kazuya answered and tried to shut his mind out of his own personal problems.
Because he was a professional and that was what professionals did.